This is a sample school magazine article written by a candidate in response to a question in CIE O-level paper.
Check out the way this student has effectively used the “we” pronoun that thereby shows his understanding of its usage for a particular audience. He has also been very careful in choosing the right vocabulary appropriate for the format of a school magazine article.
Note: As this question appeared in 2003 therefore there are more than three rubrics provided for the candidates. Beware that in the present syllabus (since 2011) only 3 rubrics are given in the question.
You recently represented your school in a competition with other local schools. You were very pleased with the result and have been asked to write an account of the event for your school magazine. You must include the following details:
- When, what and where the event was held
- How you prepared yourself for the competition
- Some details about the event itself
- Your feelings when the result was announced
- The reactions of your friends and family
You may add further details if you wish.
When we arrived at the padang to take our places, I could see the cynical look on the faces of our opponents. There were whispers and side-glances and bemused smiles. We were the only competitors from a ‘neighbourhood school’ which had reached the finals. Bruce spoke to us in his usual confident manner; we would make use of their cynicism to our advantage. They would be caught off guard; their underestimating us would be their undoing. Major Lim, our commander, agreed and smiled his famous wicked smile.
We were the last to perform. When our turn came, Agnes, our Sergeant-Major marched out briskly. I could see that the judges were visibly shaken when she bellowed her orders. They started! Then Bruce marched in and took over the platoon. As he barked command after command, we put in all that we had rehearsed all those weekends. I could see what everyone was doing, but I could hear the precise movements. I swell with pride when I realize that I belong to a ‘swell’ company of army cadets.
The end was inevitable; we were unanimously voted champions by the judges – a panel of military professionals. The chief judge made a comment while announcing the results, ‘I want to especially commend the platoon commander and sergeant-major of the champion platoon, I sincerely hope you make the army your career. We need people like you’
After the results were announced, our supporters rushed into the field and literally carried us in triumph. We were proud that we have done our school and our parents proud. I want to tell all of you that we did it all for you; and succeeded because of your support and your faith in us. To all of you, a big ‘Thank you’.
Checklist for the students:
- The article has no ‘Title’, which is expected to be in a school magazine article. However, this does not make much of a difference because the writer structures his/her entire content in a very appropriate manner requisite for acquiring a good grade in this section.
- See how the candidate begins forcefully and engages the attention of the readers from the start.
- The refrain of the pronoun “we” shows how the writer of the article takes pride in being a part of a group of students in representing his/her school in a competition. In addition, the jubilant victory is experienced not just through the writer’s eye alone but by involving a group of students along.
- Moreover, the use of ‘our’, ’us’ and “you” pronouns invite the entire students of the school (audience) to participate in the winning experience with their fellow school mates who represented their school in a competition.
- The candidate has covered all the points asked in the questions, along with providing extra relevant details to his/her readers.
- All paragraphs are coherently linked together.
- The writer appropriately uses a friendly register throughout the article.
Note: Check put my post on Use of Register for various genres